The Masterbation Blog: Blogspot's Number one Masturbation Site
Soon to be your favorite masturbation site. At The Masterbation Blog you will find links to sites, pictures, videos, and forums all focused exclusively on the art of masturbation and self love.
Welcome to The Masterbation Blog
Soon to be your favorite masturbation site. At The Masterbation Blog you will find links to sites, pictures, videos, and forums all focused exclusively on the art of masturbation and self love.


Sunday, March 20, 2005  
 

A naked day at the beach

John and I planned to spend a day at the beach. John dared me to sunbath nude. This is not a private beach and can be pretty crowded. I said that I was willing but we would to wait and see how things went. We drove down early that morning. We parked and we walked down the beach away from the crowds. We walked at least a mile and found an area on the beach that did not have access for at least a 1/2 mile in either direction and seemed to be in the middle of between of the areas where most of the crowds were.

The only ones we had to worry about were people walking up and down the beach. John set everything up as I undressed and took my bikini off. John stripped also and we went for a swim. we splashed around for awhile. A couple of people went by as we swam, but nobody noticed we were nude. After 20 or 30 minutes we got out of the water. I laid down on my stomach and asked John to put lotion on me. I laid there as John rub the lotion into me. With the sun and his hands massaging the oil in, I felt great. John spent a considerable amount of time on my butt. He knows playing with it gets me excited, so he was enjoying getting me worked up. He finished and put lotion on himself and laid down also.

We laid out for awhile. A couple of guys walked by. They could see for sure that John was nude but could not see if I was for sure apparently. I heard one of them tell the other to go check it out. I just laid there pretending to be asleep. He walked up within about 10 feet or so then ran back down to his buddy and I heard him say that I was nude also. I watched them walk on down the beach and then cut up into the dunes. I knew that they were going to come back and try to spy on us. I told John about them and he said that he knew. He said that when we "caught" them, we would invite them to join us. I was concerned about this, considering we were pretty far away from crowd if something went wrong. I trust John completely and know that he would not put us into harm, but you never know about some people. John said that they seemed to be decent enough. After giving them time to get back to us, John told me to turn over. I did and John told me that he would put the lotion on me. I laid there with my eyes closed as John spread the lotion into my legs and began to move higher. Most of the time, John skips the "vitals" and lets me do it, unless I tell him to go ahead. When he got to the tops of my thighs, I told John to go ahead and spread the lotion.

Knowing that we were being watched was a real turn on for me. John asked me if I was sure, and I nodded yes. John put lotion on my stomach and began to rub it in. As he moved lower, I opened my legs and he moved his hand between them and then moved to my chest. I protested that he did not put enough down there. John said he knew, but he wanted to tease me and them. John put lotion on my breasts and massaged the lotion into them and my shoulders. Every time he got to my breasts, he would give my nipples a little tug. I was loving every feeling that was washing over me as he did it. He was doing this and he yelled out that we knew they were in the dunes and to come on out. They started to take off and John hollered that it was okay. John said that they had stopped and appeared to be talking as he continued to play with my breasts and nipples. The guys decided to come over and walked up. John introduced himself and I. They gave us their names and John told them to have a seat.

They were students at the University that is near where John lives and were spending the weekend on the beach. John said that it was nice of them to spy on people like that and they apologized for that. John started to rub lotion on me again. he again was paying particular attention to my breasts. The guys were having a very hard time speaking coherently as they watched John play with my breasts. The guys ( Jim & Daryl) were not trying to hide that they were staring at my body. John put more lotion on my stomach and began to rub it in. he moved down and I pulled my legs together. John gently pulled my legs apart, and I really did not resist. He ran his hand between my legs and touched me. When He did, I moaned out loud and raised my hips to push against his hand. He stroked his fingers back and forth over me and I pushed back, moving my hips up and down. I forgot that anyone was there, I was concentrating on the feelings that John was creating and was quickly losing control. John continued to use his hand and fingers on me until I climaxed as hard as I have ever had. John continued and I was quickly overcome again. John continued to run his hands over my body as I calmed down some.

When I opened my eyes, I noticed that Jim & Daryl had moved down to by my feet to get a better view. I was so excited that I kept my legs open for them to look. ( I guess that makes me sound slutty, but I hope I was not.) I sat up and we all had a drink. I asked them about school and they told me about their courses and such. I walked down to the water to wash my hands off and came back and sat down. I had John lay down and I began to put lotion on him as we talked. I eventually took him into my hand and was stroking him as I talked. It was obvious that both of the guys were very uncomfortable in their suits. :) I started to stroke John and he started to get hard and grow in my hand. I just continued to stroke John and talk as if everything was normal. I could see that they both were wishing it was them I was stroking. I told them that I would not touch them or allow them to touch me but if they needed to relieve themselves that they could if they wanted. Neither of them made a move for a few minutes. I could see that they were both wanting to and trying to get up the nerve. John was getting close to finishing by now and I picked up my stroking.

He exploded all over the place eventually and I used a towel to clean it up some. John recovered and sat up. I said that it was almost time for us to leave. John agreed and got up to get things together. I was sitting there, leaning back, talking to them when John came back and sat down. He started to stroke my legs and running his hands over my body as I sat there. When John reached between my legs again and started to stroke me again, I told Jim and Daryl that this was their last chance. Daryl stood and took off his suit and kneeled by me feet. I told Jim that he better hurry and make up his mind. He jumped up and dropped his suit. While Daryl was average in size, Jim was the biggest I have ever seen. I laid back and watched them play with themselves as John stroked back and forth between my legs. A huge orgasm overcame me as I watched them. Daryl came almost immediately afterward and Jim was still stroking away. Jim started to come and I had another monster as he did. I laid there totally exhausted. The guys put their suits on and said thank you and left while I recovered. John and I stayed for awhile longer then we did gather everything up and left.

posted by Todd Spaits | 9:36 AM


Friday, March 11, 2005  
 

Pool Jets!
by Ellie

My first time masturbating was completely accidental. I was 7 years old and had spent the afternoon at a swimming lesson with my school. I was extremely board, as I could already swim quite well. Just by chance, I happened to press my body against a jet on the side of the pool. The jet was the perfect height to gently press against my clit.
I jerked in surprise at the tingling sensation that passed over my whole body. I became frustrated with myself for moving and tried everything to get the feeling to come back. Finally I thought to push my clit against the jet again. It worked! I held it there, becoming more and more frustrated. Sure it felt great, but I knew that it had to be better. I could feel it! It should have come to a great and satisfying climax by now!! I pressed myself to the wall harder and finally decided that the jet wasn’t strong enough. I swam off, found another jet and began the process again.
This time it was heavenly. I came into an orgasm and screamed with delite! i could feel wave after wave of pleasure grip me and i screamed again! I had never been more embarrassed. Even though I didn’t know what I was doing, I knew that to be playing with myself in public was wrong. After awhile people went back to what they were doing and I went back to occupying myself. I played with my clit a bit, noticing how sensitive it was. i touched my chest, though there as nothing there yet. i rubbed and rubbed until i could no longer stand it. i put myself up against the jet again and had another orgasm! I loved it!
I did this the rest of the afternoon, every now and then swimming a lap for the instructor. That was murder! Every time I was just about to go over the top an instructor would call me to swim. I would do an awkward lap or to and the go right back to the jet.
I managed to come about 5 times that afternoon and now do it the “jet way” whenever I can!

posted by Todd Spaits | 9:54 PM


Tuesday, March 08, 2005  

Submitted by a Masturbation Loving Member of Masturbationpage.com.
posted by Todd Spaits | 3:23 PM
 

Submitted by a Masturbation Loving Member of Masturbationpage.com.
posted by Todd Spaits | 3:23 PM
 

Submitted by a Masturbation Loving Member of Masturbationpage.com.
posted by Todd Spaits | 3:23 PM
 

Submitted by a Masturbation Loving Member of Masturbationpage.com.
posted by Todd Spaits | 3:23 PM
 

Submitted by a Masturbation Loving Member of Masturbationpage.com.
posted by Todd Spaits | 3:23 PM
 

My very first orgasm experience
by Gesa

Masturbation has been a very frequent activity for me ever since I experienced my first orgasm about a month after turning 13. One of my female classmates described to a group of us exactly how to do it and how it felt. Needless to say I couldn't wait to get home and give it a try. After going to bed earlier than usual, I shut off the light, got under the covers, hiked up my nightie and experimented for about an hour without much progress. Even so, I was clearly having a LOT of fun. Things were getting a little hot under the comforter because it was early September, but I wanted to continue and see if something might happen. I pushed the covers aside, slid out of my nightie, and tossed it to the floor by the bed. Having only recently entered puberty, I could easily see my vulva by tipping my hips up a bit and I figured I'd turn on the light to get a better view of what I was doing. Dimming the light, I laid back in bed on top of the sheets, this time experiencing a whole new set of feelings and joyous freedom as the cool air blowing through the open window caressed my exposed, naked body. I savored those feelings for a few minutes before slowly spreading my legs.

My pelvis tingled when the fresh air wafted over my crotch and newly emerging pubic hair. It felt incredibly sexy, much unlike anything I had experienced before. The whole situation was kind of risky too, since my parents don't believe in locks on bedroom doors. I ran my hands lightly over my body for a couple of minutes, and my heart rate jumped and my breathing deepened. Eventually I reached down between my legs again and was astounded to find that my inner and outer lips had moved away from each other and the entire center area was wet. A closer look down there revealed a wide-open column of dampness taking on a darker pink color, almost red. The bedroom gradually filled with the mild scent of my newly discovered womanhood. Once again I slid my hand back to my clitoris and vulva, fingers moving up and down and in circles. Everything was definitely feeling different now. At some point I realized my hand was moving faster as the minutes ticked on. The tingling and heaviness in my pelvis became close to unbearable as my heart raced and I panted heavily. I got a little scared and wondered if this was actually an orgasm or if I was hurting myself somehow. I would have stopped, but the girl at school said things would happen this way. Her advice was to just keep going and massaging myself no matter what. The muscles in my body tensed as I manipulated my clitoris with increasing speed and pressure, my entire arm cycling up and down all the way to the shoulder. My other hand wandered down to my vaginal opening and found a soft mound of twitching, warm flesh, dripping with lubrication. I moved two fingers of that hand lightly against the orifice, in synch with the other hand working my clit.

This heightened the intensity to a new level and for the first time I began to realize this is what orga sms are all about, even though I had no idea of what was about to happen. Instinctively I removed the one hand from my vaginal opening and quickened the action on my clitoris with the other while applying more pressure, really concentrating on that single erect organ of sensitive tissue sticking out from my crotch. Just as it seemed the feelings could not become any more intense, everything broke loose all at once. My nipples hardened and pointed outward toward the ceiling. My buttock and hip muscles flexed in a manner that spread my legs apart so the sides of my knees practically touched the bed covers below. My back arched and I raised my butt slightly off the bed. An intense combination of warmth and electricity enveloped me, as the whole area between my hips seemed to fill up and was about to explode. I started hyperventilating. This was IT, I thought, while a big smile went across my face. I moaned and my eyes slowly closed because I wanted to feel every sensation of the moment while my arm and hand moved as a single unit with only one purpose in mind. I was truly finding out what an orgasm feels like, or so I thought. But even this didn't prepare me for what happened next. Totally without warning or any anticipation on my part, my heart began slamming away, each beat visibly moving my chest along with an audible rush of blood pumping through the vessels in my ears. My whole body went rigid and straight as a board. Only my feet, shoulders and head were in contact with the mattress -- everything in between was up off the bed and my butt cheeks hovered about a foot in the air. My rib cage expanded with every labored gasp and I shrieked when convulsions gripped my pelvic region and quickly traveled outward to rock my entire being. Hips bucking uncontrollably with each contraction, I shot a few drops of some clear fluid which landed on my inner right thigh about halfway to the knee and dripped down to the back of my leg. I did not want it to end. My arm stroked frantically and the convulsions kept up for what must have been over a minute.

The bed shook with each violent hip thrust and there was a good amount of moaning coming from deep within my throat. I didn't worry too much about who might hear me and assumed everyone was asleep or watching television. Of course, the contractions finally weakened as my orgasm subsided. I lay there in a sweating heap, panting, marveling at what just happened. I was totally overcome by a mix of exhaustion and exhilaration. A voice on the other side of the door startled me. "Gesa, are you all right?" Oh God! My mother heard me! I sprang up, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Uh, yeah Mom! I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm fine." I was light-headed and still seeing stars when the doorknob moved. I hopped up and threw myself against the door. "Everything's fine Mom, you don't have to come in!" She said okay and walked back to her room. That was way too close, and it really scared me. No more masturbating, I thought as I shut off the light. It isn't worth it. My mother would die if she found out, and I would too. I stumbled back to my bed, collapsed onto it, and immediately fell asleep naked.

posted by Todd Spaits | 2:47 PM
 

My very first orgasm experience
by Gesa

Masturbation has been a very frequent activity for me ever since I experienced my first orgasm about a month after turning 13. One of my female classmates described to a group of us exactly how to do it and how it felt. Needless to say I couldn't wait to get home and give it a try. After going to bed earlier than usual, I shut off the light, got under the covers, hiked up my nightie and experimented for about an hour without much progress. Even so, I was clearly having a LOT of fun. Things were getting a little hot under the comforter because it was early September, but I wanted to continue and see if something might happen. I pushed the covers aside, slid out of my nightie, and tossed it to the floor by the bed. Having only recently entered puberty, I could easily see my vulva by tipping my hips up a bit and I figured I'd turn on the light to get a better view of what I was doing. Dimming the light, I laid back in bed on top of the sheets, this time experiencing a whole new set of feelings and joyous freedom as the cool air blowing through the open window caressed my exposed, naked body. I savored those feelings for a few minutes before slowly spreading my legs.

My pelvis tingled when the fresh air wafted over my crotch and newly emerging pubic hair. It felt incredibly sexy, much unlike anything I had experienced before. The whole situation was kind of risky too, since my parents don't believe in locks on bedroom doors. I ran my hands lightly over my body for a couple of minutes, and my heart rate jumped and my breathing deepened. Eventually I reached down between my legs again and was astounded to find that my inner and outer lips had moved away from each other and the entire center area was wet. A closer look down there revealed a wide-open column of dampness taking on a darker pink color, almost red. The bedroom gradually filled with the mild scent of my newly discovered womanhood. Once again I slid my hand back to my clitoris and vulva, fingers moving up and down and in circles. Everything was definitely feeling different now. At some point I realized my hand was moving faster as the minutes ticked on. The tingling and heaviness in my pelvis became close to unbearable as my heart raced and I panted heavily. I got a little scared and wondered if this was actually an orgasm or if I was hurting myself somehow. I would have stopped, but the girl at school said things would happen this way. Her advice was to just keep going and massaging myself no matter what. The muscles in my body tensed as I manipulated my clitoris with increasing speed and pressure, my entire arm cycling up and down all the way to the shoulder. My other hand wandered down to my vaginal opening and found a soft mound of twitching, warm flesh, dripping with lubrication. I moved two fingers of that hand lightly against the orifice, in synch with the other hand working my clit.

This heightened the intensity to a new level and for the first time I began to realize this is what orga sms are all about, even though I had no idea of what was about to happen. Instinctively I removed the one hand from my vaginal opening and quickened the action on my clitoris with the other while applying more pressure, really concentrating on that single erect organ of sensitive tissue sticking out from my crotch. Just as it seemed the feelings could not become any more intense, everything broke loose all at once. My nipples hardened and pointed outward toward the ceiling. My buttock and hip muscles flexed in a manner that spread my legs apart so the sides of my knees practically touched the bed covers below. My back arched and I raised my butt slightly off the bed. An intense combination of warmth and electricity enveloped me, as the whole area between my hips seemed to fill up and was about to explode. I started hyperventilating. This was IT, I thought, while a big smile went across my face. I moaned and my eyes slowly closed because I wanted to feel every sensation of the moment while my arm and hand moved as a single unit with only one purpose in mind. I was truly finding out what an orgasm feels like, or so I thought. But even this didn't prepare me for what happened next. Totally without warning or any anticipation on my part, my heart began slamming away, each beat visibly moving my chest along with an audible rush of blood pumping through the vessels in my ears. My whole body went rigid and straight as a board. Only my feet, shoulders and head were in contact with the mattress -- everything in between was up off the bed and my butt cheeks hovered about a foot in the air. My rib cage expanded with every labored gasp and I shrieked when convulsions gripped my pelvic region and quickly traveled outward to rock my entire being. Hips bucking uncontrollably with each contraction, I shot a few drops of some clear fluid which landed on my inner right thigh about halfway to the knee and dripped down to the back of my leg. I did not want it to end. My arm stroked frantically and the convulsions kept up for what must have been over a minute.

The bed shook with each violent hip thrust and there was a good amount of moaning coming from deep within my throat. I didn't worry too much about who might hear me and assumed everyone was asleep or watching television. Of course, the contractions finally weakened as my orgasm subsided. I lay there in a sweating heap, panting, marveling at what just happened. I was totally overcome by a mix of exhaustion and exhilaration. A voice on the other side of the door startled me. "Gesa, are you all right?" Oh God! My mother heard me! I sprang up, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Uh, yeah Mom! I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm fine." I was light-headed and still seeing stars when the doorknob moved. I hopped up and threw myself against the door. "Everything's fine Mom, you don't have to come in!" She said okay and walked back to her room. That was way too close, and it really scared me. No more masturbating, I thought as I shut off the light. It isn't worth it. My mother would die if she found out, and I would too. I stumbled back to my bed, collapsed onto it, and immediately fell asleep naked.

posted by Todd Spaits | 2:45 PM
 

courtesy of Yanks.com Paris rides out the end of her orgasm.
posted by Todd Spaits | 2:44 PM
 

Courtesy of Yanks.com Paris's chest flushes as her pussy pulses and contracts with her orgasm
posted by Todd Spaits | 2:43 PM
 

courtesy of Yanks.com Paris gets closer and closer
posted by Todd Spaits | 2:36 PM
 

Courtesy of Yanks.com Paris is approaching a mind blowing orgasm.
posted by Todd Spaits | 2:35 PM
 
 

The Parking Lot
by Anonymous

I wanted to share an amazing experience that I recently had while waiting for my friend in the parking lot of a grocery store. I was sitting in the passenger's seat of my friend's SUV while she went in to pick up a few things for dinner, and happened to look over to see a guy sitting in the driver's seat of the car next to mine. The first thing I noticed is that he was reading a porn magazine - I got a flash of bare tits and crotch when I first glanced quickly. Intrigued, I looked a bit more, and from my higher position, I was able to see that he had his fly open and was stroking his big thing right there in the parking lot! At first, I was so shocked, I turned my head away quickly, like I had been scolded. I wasn't sure if he was some kind of pervert, or if he was just passing the time pleasantly, but it frightened me to see him just sitting there with his cock exposed to the world. In spite of myself, however, I started to get hot thinking about him, and wanted to see how far he would get. I felt my pulse racing, and my crotch throbbing. Working up the courage, I looked over at him, hoping he wouldn't see me. He was working his big cock up and down, periodically moistening his hand with saliva. I could see how excited he was by how stiff he was and how quickly he was rubbing, and I was afraid he would come too quickly and spoil the moment. I was getting so excited, my breath was becoming shallow and my nipples were standing out, rubbing against my bra. I stuck my hand up under my sweatshirt to masssage my breast and squeeze my nipple, while my other hand loosened the drawstring on my sweatpants, allowing me to slip my hand inside of my underwear. Once I was able to tear my eyes away from his gorgeous, throbbing knob, I saw that he had indeed seen me, and was taking some pleasure in my audience. Afraid that he'd shoot off before I had a chance to get ready, I mouthed to him to "wait," which brought a big smile to his face. I leaned over and grabbed the first thing I found in my purse, a thick marking pen, to jab into my throbbing, wet pussy. It had some square corners on the bottom, which hurt a bit going in, but were amazingly stimulating once inside. I looked up and saw the head of his cock getting more purple and his face contorting and knew that his time was up, so I watched carefully as he shot white cum all over the magazine and steering wheel, while I frantically pumped my pussy with the marker. Breathless, but still aware, I glanced in the side view mirror only to see my friend returning to the car, so I pulled my hand out of my pants and left the marker in my snatch. I was afraid that my hands would smell too much like pussy, so I sat on my right hand, which allowed me to jiggle the marker back and forth as she drove. Once we got back to her house, I carefully got out of the car, pulling my underwear up tightly to keep the marker in place, and excused myself to go to the restroom where I finished myself off on the bathroom floor. That was the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and the single best orgasm I have ever had. I think the image of his smiling face and spurting cock will be seared in my memory for quite a while, and I hope it keeps me as horny in the future as I am now!

posted by Todd Spaits | 12:35 AM


Monday, March 07, 2005  
 

The Inner Chamber
by
Shadow Kitten

The vision is always the same..like a dream that I never wish to wake from...Making my way down a narrow hallway, through a large wooden door..into a small room, furnished with only a large four-poster bed, a fireplace, and an over stuffed chair before it..only the glow of the fire on the hearth lights this room, giving it an even more dreamlike quality..
as the door is closed behind me, and my eyes fight to adjust to the dim light , blinking repeatedly..I see a farmiliar shadow in the chair before the fire..and instantly, instinctively..drop to my knees..crawling to him..stopping just in front of his chair..I remain there..wrists crossed to the small of my back, wearing nothing but his collar, my hair veiling my face..allowing me a moments bazenness, letting my eyes raise to catch a glimse of him..
His perfect features always catching me by surprise, the glow of the fire drawing out the tiny blue embers in his eyes..looking as though he is deep in thought..his strong hands clasped beneath his chin..
lowering my eyes..praying my boldness was not detected, uncertain as to what I should do..remaining silent, motionless..staring at the floor, awaiting his orders..but he remaining painfully silent, how I longed to hear his voice, knowing the power it had over me..but determined to obey..
a bit caught up in my own thoughts..awakened as I feel the slack in my leash tighten suddenly, pulled closer to him, so quickly my hands shot out to keep from falling forward...intertwining his fingers in my hair, roughly forcing me to look into his face..a smile of such intensity shone down on me, I all but melted into the floor..a weakness came over me, infecting all of my heart and spirit, and I was lost to him as I had been many times before...
leaning in close..kissing me with such force it took my very breath away...his hand tightening in my hair..his tongue delving almost too deeply, nearly choking me..slipping his free hand between my trembling thighs..feeling the heated wetness against his fingers .."my beautiful..how I've missed you" his words seemed to pour over me..to wash away any bit of apprehension I felt..
he lifted me to my feet, my hair wrapped around his right hand, towering over me..cradling my chin in his strong hand..kissing me gently..as though tasting my lips for the first time...
"your former lover did not have the strength to master you..or even satiate your boundless appetite...."
a mischievious smile gracing his lips...."I've a surprise for you...my beautiful.."
from the shadows of the far corner of the room stepped a tiny figure of a girl..looking much like myself..collared as well..she stood..silent..her eyes seeming to sum me up somehow...the firelight caressing her, her every curve accentuated...her tiny bare feet making no sound as she she came to me..she showed no fear..no nervousness as she stood just inches from me..looking over at him, as though for a sign..then, taking me completley by surprise, leaning in to hungrily kiss me..her way had me completly drawn in..returning her kiss..I barely felt her hand take mine..again looking to him..his words echoing in my ears..."show me my beautiful..show me that ravenous soul that so dangerously enflames my lust..my passion.."
as this tiny wisp of a girl led me his bed, I felt surreal somehow..almost as though I were only watching this scene unfold before me..my eyes drank in her every feature..her well formed legs..her heart shaped ass..the small of her back..the silken chestnut tresses that cascaded down her back to just below the shoulder blades..her walk was enticing..drawing me closer..despite myself..as she crawled onto the bed...her parted thighs exposed the tiny triangle of hair..and a mere glimse of her sweet pink nether lips beneath..my heart raced..as she lay back against the many pillows..parting her legs invitingly..looking over at him...seeing the intensity of his expression..hearing his words still in my head .."show me....."
her playful tugs on my leash brought me back to the present...eyes glistening even brighter than before...I watched..mesmerised as her fingertips danced over her nipples, making them as tiny pebbles..a coating of goosebumps coating her skin.. her already moistening slit seemingly beconing to me..how beautiful she was .my gaze falling to where her fingertips were so busily working...letting it linger at the tiny sweet opening of her cunt..feeling my own pussy's throbbing heat..pressing 2 fingers in slowly..slipping my palms up my body..caressing,as a mirror image of her, every breath, every desire filled gasp matched hers perfectly ..already lightheaded..moaning..the vibrations making me raise my hips in sync with her thrusts...losing myself in it all, the sweetness of her rapid breath ..the feeling of his gaze burning into me..vaguely able to hear his ragged labored breath as his eyes behold this new coupling, hearing the slippery strokings of his rigid cock, his gutteral moans stirring me into a frenzy ...her sighs..her moans..only drove me on..her thighs trembling now..as her hands feverishly worked over her clit ..her expression mad with lust..throwing her head back in pure delight....her whole body trembling..muscles taut and tense..her cunt contracting convulsively around her fingers..my own release achingly near..flesh on fire..until at last..in a great gush of sweet warmth...her trembling legs finally relaxing..looking up into her passion washed face..her emerald green eyes shining down at me..as she brushed away the hair from her face..her eyes were drawn to him..
..she bent close to kiss my lips as gently as first she had done it..then slipped away as if she had never been there..but I was not left alone to entertain these thoughts..I turned, finding him standing at the side of the bed..face burning with a flush of total arousal..his cock wrapped tightly in his left hand..almost painfully so....crawling to the very edge of the bed..not a moments hesitation..wrapping my lips around the head, tasting its sweet sticky readiness..its rock hard girth nearly too much for my lips..taking its full length in one swift fluid motion..swallowing deep..relaxing my throat..nuzzing my nose at the base of his cock..moaning deeply..sending vibrations through him...fingertips frantically manipulating my clit..hips rocking...saliva drooling down his cock..wetting it so perfectly..flesh onfire..looking up into his eyes, seeing his nodded approval...drawing his cock from my throat.. pressing me back on the bed..roughly parting my legs..impaling me in one violent thrust..feeling my cunt convulsively squeezing..my legs wrapped around his body...slamming into my cunt with a fierceness next to insanity...my whole body trembling..a searing orgasm flooding over me.wave upon wave washing over me...feeling his body tense..his back arch..drawing out just at that precise moment...his searing hot cum painted over my breasts, my face...drawing his fingertips through it..feeding me..so sweet..my body spent and tingling..looking up at him..such love..such pride at belonging to him..
cradled in his arms..his words forever etched in my memory..."I love you..my beautiful..my slave..my everything"

posted by Todd Spaits | 12:52 PM


Saturday, March 05, 2005  
 

Missy Masturbation Part 1
by
Missy

The most sexually frustrating time of my life was the last few weeks before I graduated from college. Almost all of my time was consumed with studying for final exams and writing term papers. It was bad enough that I didn't have a lover other than myself. I'm a nympho, so sleeping alone every night and not getting faced and rimmed was driving me crazy. But making things worse was that I barely found time to masturbate. I just snuck in a few quickie cums at my apartment, in the restroom at school and even a few times in the library - I'd sit in a desk near the back, slide my legs completely under the desk, slide a hand into my pants and work my clit.

When I finished my last exam and handed it in, I felt like I had just been unchained. I had felt massively tired for weeks but suddenly I was completely energized because I knew what was about to happen - I was going to go straight back to my apartment and spend the whole night treating myself like the kinky, perverted nympho that I am!

While I was driving home, I turned the car radio to the local jazz station to get myself in an even more sensual mood. I could feel my pussy dripping even before I got home.

I ran up the steps to my second floor apartment and within 20 seconds of walking in the front door, I had stripped off my sweatshirt, shoes, socks and jeans. I tied my long, black hair in a pony tail so it wouldn't get in the way. Because I'm pretty flat chested, I never wear a bra. I left my black thong on for a reason you'll see below!

After undressing, I walked over to the stereo and cranked up the jazz station, then went over to the refrigerator and got a jar of cherries and a can of whipped cream. Then I was ready to begin!

I lay my muscular 5'6", 165 lb. body down on the living room couch, doused my chest with whipped cream and topped my nipples with one cherry each. I took out my very talented and skilled tongue and went to work, slowly and sensually licking my chest all over, not stopping until I'd eaten the cherries and the last trace of the whipped cream.

Now I'd given myself so much foreplay that I was ready to explode! I went back to my bedroom and got my vibrating egg out of my toy box. I went back to the living room, plugged in the egg, lit two candles and turned off all the lights. I lay on the couch again, this time with my left foot flat on the floor and my right foot on top of the back rest.

I pulled the right front side of my thong away from my body just long enough to slide the egg into my soaking wet pussy. I always wear a thong while I'm using the egg so that I can use both hands to my advantage, rather than having to use one of them to hold in the egg.

I turned on the egg to a slow speed and started carressing myself with my right hand and rubbing my clit with my left middle finger. My first orgasm came in just a few seconds. It was nice but mellow. My orgasms get progressively more intense throughout a sex binge. Gradually, I increased the speed of the egg and equally increased the speed of my clit rubbing. And soon my body went from being completely relaxed to being very tense. I tightly closed my eyes as my mind became more and more consumed with just getting myself off and bringing myself as much sexual euphoria as possible.

I was silent through the first part of the binge, but after a while, my mouth fell open and I began to moan softly. Eventually, I took the egg and my clit rubbing up to top speed and then I turned into a maniac. I began having one violent orgasm after another in extremely quick succession. A coat of sweat had built between my back and the coach. My body went into wild convulsions and I began to feel control slip away. I started to become unaware of my surroundings. Total pleasure filled up my entire body and I screamed hysterically.

Finally, over 90 minutes after I started the egg, I began feeling dizzy and felt like I was close to passing out, so I stopped the egg and stopped rubbing my clit. As sweat dripped off of my entire body, I took a few minutes to calm down and catch my breath. After that, I slid off my thong, which was completely satured with my cum.

I turned it inside out, licked the big clumps of cum out of my thong, then put the thong in my mouth and sucked on it for a while, savoring the sexy taste of the cum that I produced through my masturbatory expertise.

When I finished, I walked back to my bedroom, threw the thong in the dirty clothes basket and lay my exhausted naked body down in my bed, looking forward to my next sexual adventure, solo or otherwise...

posted by Todd Spaits | 4:56 PM


Tuesday, March 01, 2005  

Female orgasm is in the genes

[Science News]: A woman's ability to reach orgasm is partly due to her genes, a unique study of Australian twins has found. And the relative importance of environmental factors versus genes seems to vary depending on whether a woman masturbates, has sexual intercourse or oral sex. Behavioural geneticist Dr Khytam Dawood of the University of Chicago and international team report their findings this week in the journal Twin Research. "As far as I know this is the first study that's been done looking at the possibility of genetic influences on the frequency of orgasms," Dawood told ABC Science Online. The researchers asked more than 3000 female twins from the Australian Twin Registry how often they achieved orgasm in different situations: while masturbating, while having penetrative sex with a partner; or having sex with a partner involving other methods, like oral sex. The people in the study included genetically identical twins and non-identical twins, with the difference between the two shedding light on the contribution of genes versus environment on behaviour. The researchers found that when women try to reach orgasm through masturbation about half (51%) of their chance of success depended on their genes. But for other methods of reaching orgasm, environmental factors were more important than genetic factors. When they had penetrative sex, genes accounted for just 31% of their chance of success, and 37% when a women and her partner used other methods. The researchers don't know why the frequency of orgasm during masturbation has a higher genetic component.

Orgasms and evolution

Dawood says the discovery that orgasm has a genetic component may support the theory that orgasm plays a role in evolution. Other researchers, for example, argue that orgasm helps women to retain sperm or otherwise improves the success of reproduction. Dawood says she hopes to carry out further surveys to test such theories. "Sex is the reason we're here and yet we really understand very little about the actual development of sexual orientation and gender identity and sexual behaviour," she told ABC Science Online. "Much is just assumed without a real scientific basis." Australian reproductive physiologist Dr Gemma O'Brien from the University of New England in Armidale welcomes the research but says on its own it is of limited use in understanding the influence of genes and environment on orgasm. She says it is important to work out which parts of the body genes are influencing. Genes may influence the reproductive tract, and also the development of the hormone system, the nervous system and the brain, all of which can influence orgasm. "This [research] is a great place to start but I do hope it is taken further," says O'Brien. O'Brien is interested in how the brain works to achieve orgasm. She says genes may, for example, be influencing the quality of the emotional seat of the brain, the limbic system, which is involved
in orgasm.

posted by Todd Spaits | 4:16 PM
 

Female Masturbation
Written from a woman's point of view:

Almost all female masturbation techniques will focus on stimulating the clitoris in a variety of ways until orgasm is reached. The best way to go about this task is to find a nice, quiet, private place, such as in a bedroom or where most men and women masturbate, the shower. If you're like me, you usually only resort to masturbation when you feel the need for some release of sexual tension, like when you're horny. Of course, masturbation just plain feels good, and doesn't depend on anyone else's ability to satisfy your needs, so often it is a great way to just let loose and relax. There are three main types of masturbation: manual stimulation involving the hands, water stimulation involving showers and jacuzzi jets, and auxilliary stimulation, involving dildos, vibrators, and other sexual toys. Part of the fun of masturbation is self-discovery though, so use the basic techniques here to discover some of your own more complex and more satisfying techniques.

Getting warmed up

Unless you're in a hurry, the best preparation for masturbation is by first arousing yourself through visual or audible stimuli such as movies, magazines, pictures, or whatever else you can think of. This serves to enhance your experience, and prepares your genitals for the type of further stimulation that you choose. This type of "foreplay" can often increase the tension during masturbation and often causes longer-lasting more intense orgasms.

Manual stimulation

When most people first learn how to masturbate, they do so by stimulating themselves with their hands. For women, the clitoris can be stimulated in a wide variety of ways. The best way for you to learn what works and what doesn't is by experimenting. Try rubbing your clitoris in different ways, or if you find it too sensitive to rub directly, stimulate it indirectly by rubbing around it, on the clitoral hood, vagina, or even the labia. If something doesn't seem to work, try varying the intensity, frequency, and pressure.

Water stimulation

The shower or bathtub is often the most private, most erotic place to get yourself off. Not only do you have your hands, but if you have a removable shower-head you can make use of that too. The running water also serves to lubricate and stimulate your entire body. Try to position yourself so that the water filling the tub is flowing right on your vulva, and brace yourself for a truly intense, erotic experience. If you can't do this, try using your hands to direct the flow of water over your clitoris with your hands. Try adjusting the water temperature or shower-head intensity to your liking, and while making use of your hands you're sure to have an explosive orgasm.

If you have access to a private jacuzzi or are alone in a public one, try experimenting with the water jets. Be careful though, they are often high-pressure so start off far away from them and move yourself in closer until you find the intensity that feels the best.

Sex toys

There are many types of things you can use for stimulation. Probably the most common type of toy is the dildo. They are usually made out of rubber or plastic, and often come on the shape of a penis. They are available in a wide variety of sizes, and they don't necessarily have to be huge to deliver the most pleasure. One purpose for dildos is to simulate intercourse, the type of intercourse you could have with a partner if they did everything that YOU want them to do. Again, the best way to find out what will get you off the best is to experiment with one, stimulating the clitoris in a variety of ways both directly and indirectly. You can also experiment with anal masturbation by using a dildo, and if you've never tried it but would like to experiment, using a dildo in your own privacy can be the best way.

Vibrators are another toy. These are often much like dildos, except they have electric motors that make them vibrate. These are much more versatile because the vibrating action can be applied to the clitoris, the entire vulva, the breasts and nipples, and on any part of your body that is sensitive to erotic stimulation. For an even more stimulating adventure, try using them in combination with other forms of manual stimulation.

There are many other types of sexual toys available in novelty shops and more discreetly, online sex shops. If you see something that appeals to you, try it out!

Cooling off

Once you've reached orgasm, you will probably want to take a few moments to savor the feeling and give your body a chance to return to normal. Or, if you are capable of multiple orgasms, you could start stimulating yourself again and again!

 


   .
Shaving
Many people have asked me about information regarding the removal of their pubic hair, so to help them I offer this guide. Many men and women may find a shaven genital region of their partners extremely erotic, and for men the removal of the pubic hair can make the penis seem more vulnerable and much larger, a real turn-on for women. For those of you who are really interested in shaving, talk to each other about making it an activity that you can share together.

Here are a few suggestions for those of choose to shave their nether regions:

1. If you have long pubic hairs, trim hair with clippers or scissors before using a razor to shave in close. Electric clippers are best for this purpose.

2. Take a very long, warm bath beforehand.

3. Before applying shaving cream, rinse the area with cool water.

4. Apply shaving cream a few minutes before shaving to soften hairs. Consider using a shaving cream with additional conditioners or aloe.

5. Be sure to use a sharp blade. You might try using two new blades if you are shaving a large area.

6. When shaving, stroke an area no more than twice to reduce skin irritation. On the first stroke, go "with the grain" to remove most of the hair, then go "against the grain" for a smooth, close shave. If "going against" tends to irritate you, then skip that and use both strokes "with the grain." Shaving this area against the grain can lead to very painful, itchy ingrown hairs for some people.

7. Be sure to clean the area afterwards with soap and water to reduce the risk of infection. Ideally, give the area a second cleansing using cotton balls and rubbing alcohol.

8. Some people find a daily application of baby powder or talcum powder especially helpful after shaving to keep the area dry and irritation-free.

9. Practice clean hygiene after shaving, washing the area at least once a day to reduce sweat and oil build-up.

10. Go as long as possible between shavings to reduce skin irritation.

A few warnings now that you have some guidelines:

1. People who allergic and react to some shaving creams: This area seems to have heightened sensitivity. Furthermore, if it does react, your natural sweat and the natural abrasion this area receives will most likely make your life a living hell (temporarily). Consider avoiding shaving all together, or try warning tip #3. If you do decide to shave this area, make sure you use hypoallergenic shaving cream.

2. People with sensitive skin may wish to avoid shaving for the same reasons. Again, if you chose to shave, consider shaving cream made for sensitive skin and use a hypoallergenic moisturizer afterwards.

3. Consider closely trimming your hair instead. It provides many of the benefits of shaving without all the risks!

4. Letting hair grow out after shaving your pubic area is a bitch. The sharp hairs combined with the sensitive skin will make you realize just how much movement happens in that area on an average day. Chaffing is nearly unavoidable.

5. Keeping #4 in mind, people who walk/run/exercise a lot might wish to skip shaving all together if you don't want to invest the time in regular shavings.

In conclusion, you should talk with your partner about arranging to shave each other. This can be a very erotic and sensual activity. Be sure to communicate very clearly during the act and proceed very slowly. Find out what they like, what feels good, and what feels not so good. If you take the time to learn how to do this the best for them, they will love you all the more for it. Happy shaving!

posted by Todd Spaits | 2:57 PM
 

Masturbation Synonyms

# 3 Point Shot
# A night in with the girls
# Airing the orchid
# Applying lip gloss
# Applying nail polish remover
# Auditioning the finger puppets
# Automatic pilot
# Banging the box
# Bashing the gash
# Basting the tuna
# Basting your turkey
# Bathing the kitty
# Beating around the bush
# Beating the Beaver
# Brushing the beaver
# Brushing your afro
# Buffing the bead
# Buffing the Weasel
# Burying the knuckle
# Butterin' the muffin
# Buttering your bagel
# Carpet bumping
# Cat got tongue
# Checking for depth
# Checking for squirrels
# Checking for the jackpot
# Checking my oil
# Checking the foxhole
# Checking the muffler
# Checking the oil
# Checking the pulse
# Checking the status of the I/O port
# Circling the knoll
# Clam bake for one
# Cleaning between the camel's toes
# Cleaning my fur coat
# Cleaning the kitchen
# Cleaning your fingers
# Clit-o-Rama
# Clitters
# Coaxing the genie out of the magic lamp
# Coaxing the turtle out of her shell
# Coming into your own
# Copping a clam
# Creamin'
# Creamin' the pie
# Cunt cuddling
# Cunt rubbing
# Defrosting the freezer
# Dialing the rotary phone
# Diggin' the stench trench
# Digging a trench
# Digging for gold
# Digging for my keys
# Digging in
# Digging the cream
# Digitizing
# Dipping
# Dipping for ice cream
# Diving for pearls
# Diving for pennies
# Doing my nails
# Doing something for my chapped lips
# Doing the sweet slide
# Doing the two-finger slot rumba
# Doing the two-finger ballet
# Doing the two-finger salute
# Doing your nails
# Doodling the noodle
# Double knuckling
# Double-clicking your mouse
# Dousing the digits
# Draining your tuna
# Drilling for fish
# Drilling for oil
# Drinking from the fountain of youth (for us contortionists)
# Drinking from the furry cup
# Driving Ms. Daisy
# Dunking your doughnut
# Dusting the endtable
# Engaging in safe sex
# Entering the forest
# Entering the ring of fire
# Erasing the problem
# Excavating the Tunnel of Love
# Exploring the bush
# Fanning the fur
# Feeding the bearded clam
# Feeding the cat
# Feeding the pony
# Feeding your slot
# Feeling your funnel
# Fiddling the bean
# Filling the pink taco
# Filling your niche
# Finding yourself
# Finger bang
# Finger blasting
# Finger dipping
# Finger fucking
# Finger pie
# Finger-pole the hole
# Fingerbating
# Fingering
# Fingering something out
# Fingerpainting
# Finishing the job
# Fishing
# Fishing for cumpliments
# Fishing for mackerel
# Flash flood
# Flickin' the bean
# Flicking the switch
# Flicking the tic tac
# Flipping the light switch repeatedly
# Flitting your clit
# Flossing the cat
# Fluffing the kitty
# Fluffing the muff
# Frigging
# Fucking without complications
# Gagging my meat hole
# Gagging the clam
# Gagging the lips of love
# Genital manipulation
# Genital stimulation via phalangetic motion
# Getting a date with slick mittens
# Getting a lube job
# Getting a stain out of my carpet
# Getting a stinky pinky
# Getting mud for my turtle
# Getting the last pickle out of the jar
# Getting the little man in the boat to go fishing
# Getting to know Sticky Fingers the mobster
# Getting to know yourself
# Gilding the lily
# Going around the corner
# Going deep sea diving
# Going fishing
# Going mining
# Going solo
# Going to and from the Batcave
# Greasing your hips
# Gristle rub
# Groping the grotto
# Gusset typing
# Hand tossing the tuna salad
# Harpooning your tang
# Having a date with Martin Five-Fingers
# Having ladyfingers and cream
# Having sex with someone you love
# Hee-Haw with wrinkled Mee-Maw
# Hitchhiking South
# Hitchhiking to heaven
# Hitchhiking under the Big Top
# Hitting the slit
# Hitting the spot
# Honing the stone
# Hula-hooping
# Indoor fishing
# Itching the ditch
# Jabberwocking
# Jennying off
# Jiggling your jenny
# Jilling off
# JocelynEldering
# Jostling the Elder
# Juicing it up
# Juicing Lucy
# Killing off
# Letting your fingers do the walking
# Levy break limbo
# Licking my lips (for us contortionists)
# "Looking for Waldo & his dog (gee, spot, there you are!)"
# Makin' waves for the man-in-the-boat
# Making a mini Eiffel Tower
# Making kitty purr
# Making my lips swell
# Making soup
# Making the little man sing
# Making your own gravy
# Manual override
# Menage a moi
# Mistressbate
# Muffin buffin'
# Nail polish remover
# Nulling the void
# Nursing a hatchet wound
# Opening the bottom drawer
# Paddling the finger canoe
# Paddling the pink canoe
# Pampering the pussy
# Parting my meat curtain
# Parting the Red Sea
# Patting the panky
# Pearl fishing
# Peeling the peach
# Perusing the Yellow Pages
# Petting Snoopy
# Petting the kitty
# Petting the little man in the canoe
# Petting the petunia
# Petting the pussy
# Petting the pussy cat
# Petting your bunny
# Petting your kitty
# Playing couch hockey for one
# Playing on the cricket green
# Playing poker
# Playing solitaire
# Playing the banjo
# Playing the beaver
# Playing the box
# Playing the clitar
# Playing the hairy guitar
# Playing the little Dutch boy
# Playing the silent trombone
# Playing the slots
# Playing with the man in the boat
# Playing with your pineapple
# Pluggin the leak
# Plunging the drain
# Plunging the happy hole
# Pokin' the pucker
# Poking the pudding
# Polishing the nugget
# Polishing the peanut
# Polishing the wedding ring
# Polishing your pearl
# Preheating the oven
# Priming the pump
# "Producing whore moans (hormones, get it? ;^)"
# Pushing the button
# Pussy poking
# Pussy soccer
# Putting out the fire
# Putting the dot in .org
# Reading braille
# Reading the map of Tazmania
# Ride the glide until the tide
# Riding the bed post
# Riding the cotton pony
# Riding the unicycle
# Riding the waterslide
# Riding your own mule down Grand Canyon
# Ringing your bell
# Rocking the boat
# Rollin the ol' bean
# Rolling the dough
# Rolling the marble
# Romancing thy own
# Rubbin Hood
# Rubbin' the nubbin
# Rubbing the donut
# Rubbing the red pussycat
# Rubbing the stub
# Salting the beef curtains
# Scoring the hoop
# Scraping the cheese off the taco
# Scratching the patch
# Scratching where it itches
# "Searching for Ms. ""G"""
# Seasoning your fish
# Secret vice
# Sending Muffin Morse Code
# Sexercising
# Shaking hands with Mr. Paul
# Shaking the dew off the lily
# Shebopping
# Shining the diamond
# Shooting hoops
# Shooting the rapids
# Shucking the fresh water clam
# Shucking the oyster
# Slappin' the crack
# Slapping slit
# Slapping Susie
# Slapping the flap
# Slapping the mackerel
# Slapping the meat curtain
# Slapping the skunk guts
# Slicing pie
# Sliding down the chute
# Sliding into home
# Slob the knob
# Snatching
# Soaking in Palmolive
# Soaking the whisker biscuit
# Softening the peach
# Spanking the spot
# Spanking your puppy on the nose
# Spearing the bearded clam
# Spelunking
# Spelunking in the hairy caves
# Spelunking in the mystery cave
# Splashing in the sea
# Squeezing the peach
# Steaming the oyster
# Sticking my fingers into my own genitalia to the extent of an orgasm
# Stiffening my upper lip
# Stinky pinky
# Stirring it up
# Stirring the honey pot
# Stirring the pudding
# Stirring the sauce
# Stirring the soup
# Stoking the furnace
# Stroking the box
# Strumming
# Strumming the banjo
# Strumming the big open C
# Surfing the channel
# Surfing the Slippery Sea
# Surfing the web
# Sweeping the chimney
# Swimming in the crimson lake
# Swimming in the Pu-Tang River
# Swimming in the Red Sea
# Takin' it to tuna town
# Taking a dip
# Taking a dip in the lake
# Taking advantage of yourself
# Taking the German u-boat into port
# Tapping the tuna
# Teasing the kitty
# Teasing the little man in the canoe
# Teasing the tuna
# Teasing the tuna taco
# Tending your own garden
# Testing the plumbing
# Testing your waters
# The disappearing finger trick
# The girly gusher
# The magical disappearing finger trick
# The ole feel n' squeal
# The other monthly visitor
# The two-fingered tango
# The virgin's release
# Tickling the kitty
# Tickling the pearl
# Tickling the taco
# Tickling your fancy
# Tiptoe through the TwoLips
# Toggling the bit
# Tossing the pink salad
# Touching your tigeress
# Touching your tuna
# Touring Tasmania (triangular shaped Australian island)
# Tracing the vertical smile
# Trolling the Bermuda Triangle
# Twiddling your twat
# Twinkling the little star
# Twirlin' the pearl
# Two-finger taco tango
# Two-finger typing
# Unclogging the drain
# Visiting Niagra Falls
# Visiting with Father Thumb and his four sons
# Visiting your safety deposit box
# Wading in the Bermuda Triangle
# Walking Downtown
# Washing my hands
# Washing your fingers
# Waxing the canoe
# Waxing the milk duds
# Weaving the carpet
# Whipping your cream
# Whipping your nest
# White knuckling
# Working in the garden
# Working out at the Y
# Wrinkling fingers

posted by Todd Spaits | 2:56 PM
 

Masturbation Synonyms

# 3 Point Shot
# A night in with the girls
# Airing the orchid
# Applying lip gloss
# Applying nail polish remover
# Auditioning the finger puppets
# Automatic pilot
# Banging the box
# Bashing the gash
# Basting the tuna
# Basting your turkey
# Bathing the kitty
# Beating around the bush
# Beating the Beaver
# Brushing the beaver
# Brushing your afro
# Buffing the bead
# Buffing the Weasel
# Burying the knuckle
# Butterin' the muffin
# Buttering your bagel
# Carpet bumping
# Cat got tongue
# Checking for depth
# Checking for squirrels
# Checking for the jackpot
# Checking my oil
# Checking the foxhole
# Checking the muffler
# Checking the oil
# Checking the pulse
# Checking the status of the I/O port
# Circling the knoll
# Clam bake for one
# Cleaning between the camel's toes
# Cleaning my fur coat
# Cleaning the kitchen
# Cleaning your fingers
# Clit-o-Rama
# Clitters
# Coaxing the genie out of the magic lamp
# Coaxing the turtle out of her shell
# Coming into your own
# Copping a clam
# Creamin'
# Creamin' the pie
# Cunt cuddling
# Cunt rubbing
# Defrosting the freezer
# Dialing the rotary phone
# Diggin' the stench trench
# Digging a trench
# Digging for gold
# Digging for my keys
# Digging in
# Digging the cream
# Digitizing
# Dipping
# Dipping for ice cream
# Diving for pearls
# Diving for pennies
# Doing my nails
# Doing something for my chapped lips
# Doing the sweet slide
# Doing the two-finger slot rumba
# Doing the two-finger ballet
# Doing the two-finger salute
# Doing your nails
# Doodling the noodle
# Double knuckling
# Double-clicking your mouse
# Dousing the digits
# Draining your tuna
# Drilling for fish
# Drilling for oil
# Drinking from the fountain of youth (for us contortionists)
# Drinking from the furry cup
# Driving Ms. Daisy
# Dunking your doughnut
# Dusting the endtable
# Engaging in safe sex
# Entering the forest
# Entering the ring of fire
# Erasing the problem
# Excavating the Tunnel of Love
# Exploring the bush
# Fanning the fur
# Feeding the bearded clam
# Feeding the cat
# Feeding the pony
# Feeding your slot
# Feeling your funnel
# Fiddling the bean
# Filling the pink taco
# Filling your niche
# Finding yourself
# Finger bang
# Finger blasting
# Finger dipping
# Finger fucking
# Finger pie
# Finger-pole the hole
# Fingerbating
# Fingering
# Fingering something out
# Fingerpainting
# Finishing the job
# Fishing
# Fishing for cumpliments
# Fishing for mackerel
# Flash flood
# Flickin' the bean
# Flicking the switch
# Flicking the tic tac
# Flipping the light switch repeatedly
# Flitting your clit
# Flossing the cat
# Fluffing the kitty
# Fluffing the muff
# Frigging
# Fucking without complications
# Gagging my meat hole
# Gagging the clam
# Gagging the lips of love
# Genital manipulation
# Genital stimulation via phalangetic motion
# Getting a date with slick mittens
# Getting a lube job
# Getting a stain out of my carpet
# Getting a stinky pinky
# Getting mud for my turtle
# Getting the last pickle out of the jar
# Getting the little man in the boat to go fishing
# Getting to know Sticky Fingers the mobster
# Getting to know yourself
# Gilding the lily
# Going around the corner
# Going deep sea diving
# Going fishing
# Going mining
# Going solo
# Going to and from the Batcave
# Greasing your hips
# Gristle rub
# Groping the grotto
# Gusset typing
# Hand tossing the tuna salad
# Harpooning your tang
# Having a date with Martin Five-Fingers
# Having ladyfingers and cream
# Having sex with someone you love
# Hee-Haw with wrinkled Mee-Maw
# Hitchhiking South
# Hitchhiking to heaven
# Hitchhiking under the Big Top
# Hitting the slit
# Hitting the spot
# Honing the stone
# Hula-hooping
# Indoor fishing
# Itching the ditch
# Jabberwocking
# Jennying off
# Jiggling your jenny
# Jilling off
# JocelynEldering
# Jostling the Elder
# Juicing it up
# Juicing Lucy
# Killing off
# Letting your fingers do the walking
# Levy break limbo
# Licking my lips (for us contortionists)
# "Looking for Waldo & his dog (gee, spot, there you are!)"
# Makin' waves for the man-in-the-boat
# Making a mini Eiffel Tower
# Making kitty purr
# Making my lips swell
# Making soup
# Making the little man sing
# Making your own gravy
# Manual override
# Menage a moi
# Mistressbate
# Muffin buffin'
# Nail polish remover
# Nulling the void
# Nursing a hatchet wound
# Opening the bottom drawer
# Paddling the finger canoe
# Paddling the pink canoe
# Pampering the pussy
# Parting my meat curtain
# Parting the Red Sea
# Patting the panky
# Pearl fishing
# Peeling the peach
# Perusing the Yellow Pages
# Petting Snoopy
# Petting the kitty
# Petting the little man in the canoe
# Petting the petunia
# Petting the pussy
# Petting the pussy cat
# Petting your bunny
# Petting your kitty
# Playing couch hockey for one
# Playing on the cricket green
# Playing poker
# Playing solitaire
# Playing the banjo
# Playing the beaver
# Playing the box
# Playing the clitar
# Playing the hairy guitar
# Playing the little Dutch boy
# Playing the silent trombone
# Playing the slots
# Playing with the man in the boat
# Playing with your pineapple
# Pluggin the leak
# Plunging the drain
# Plunging the happy hole
# Pokin' the pucker
# Poking the pudding
# Polishing the nugget
# Polishing the peanut
# Polishing the wedding ring
# Polishing your pearl
# Preheating the oven
# Priming the pump
# "Producing whore moans (hormones, get it? ;^)"
# Pushing the button
# Pussy poking
# Pussy soccer
# Putting out the fire
# Putting the dot in .org
# Reading braille
# Reading the map of Tazmania
# Ride the glide until the tide
# Riding the bed post
# Riding the cotton pony
# Riding the unicycle
# Riding the waterslide
# Riding your own mule down Grand Canyon
# Ringing your bell
# Rocking the boat
# Rollin the ol' bean
# Rolling the dough
# Rolling the marble
# Romancing thy own
# Rubbin Hood
# Rubbin' the nubbin
# Rubbing the donut
# Rubbing the red pussycat
# Rubbing the stub
# Salting the beef curtains
# Scoring the hoop
# Scraping the cheese off the taco
# Scratching the patch
# Scratching where it itches
# "Searching for Ms. ""G"""
# Seasoning your fish
# Secret vice
# Sending Muffin Morse Code
# Sexercising
# Shaking hands with Mr. Paul
# Shaking the dew off the lily
# Shebopping
# Shining the diamond
# Shooting hoops
# Shooting the rapids
# Shucking the fresh water clam
# Shucking the oyster
# Slappin' the crack
# Slapping slit
# Slapping Susie
# Slapping the flap
# Slapping the mackerel
# Slapping the meat curtain
# Slapping the skunk guts
# Slicing pie
# Sliding down the chute
# Sliding into home
# Slob the knob
# Snatching
# Soaking in Palmolive
# Soaking the whisker biscuit
# Softening the peach
# Spanking the spot
# Spanking your puppy on the nose
# Spearing the bearded clam
# Spelunking
# Spelunking in the hairy caves
# Spelunking in the mystery cave
# Splashing in the sea
# Squeezing the peach
# Steaming the oyster
# Sticking my fingers into my own genitalia to the extent of an orgasm
# Stiffening my upper lip
# Stinky pinky
# Stirring it up
# Stirring the honey pot
# Stirring the pudding
# Stirring the sauce
# Stirring the soup
# Stoking the furnace
# Stroking the box
# Strumming
# Strumming the banjo
# Strumming the big open C
# Surfing the channel
# Surfing the Slippery Sea
# Surfing the web
# Sweeping the chimney
# Swimming in the crimson lake
# Swimming in the Pu-Tang River
# Swimming in the Red Sea
# Takin' it to tuna town
# Taking a dip
# Taking a dip in the lake
# Taking advantage of yourself
# Taking the German u-boat into port
# Tapping the tuna
# Teasing the kitty
# Teasing the little man in the canoe
# Teasing the tuna
# Teasing the tuna taco
# Tending your own garden
# Testing the plumbing
# Testing your waters
# The disappearing finger trick
# The girly gusher
# The magical disappearing finger trick
# The ole feel n' squeal
# The other monthly visitor
# The two-fingered tango
# The virgin's release
# Tickling the kitty
# Tickling the pearl
# Tickling the taco
# Tickling your fancy
# Tiptoe through the TwoLips
# Toggling the bit
# Tossing the pink salad
# Touching your tigeress
# Touching your tuna
# Touring Tasmania (triangular shaped Australian island)
# Tracing the vertical smile
# Trolling the Bermuda Triangle
# Twiddling your twat
# Twinkling the little star
# Twirlin' the pearl
# Two-finger taco tango
# Two-finger typing
# Unclogging the drain
# Visiting Niagra Falls
# Visiting with Father Thumb and his four sons
# Visiting your safety deposit box
# Wading in the Bermuda Triangle
# Walking Downtown
# Washing my hands
# Washing your fingers
# Waxing the canoe
# Waxing the milk duds
# Weaving the carpet
# Whipping your cream
# Whipping your nest
# White knuckling
# Working in the garden
# Working out at the Y
# Wrinkling fingers

posted by Todd Spaits | 2:56 PM


Monday, February 21, 2005  
Welcome to the Masterbation blog
posted by Todd Spaits | 1:21 PM
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